It was a beautiful winters day in Florida on January 8 that year as the pre-nuptial preparations were underway. That's when we found a stack of invitations that didn't get sent, damn it man. It was a word of mouth party, I mean wedding, anyway. The tussle over the length of the brides dress was still an issue on the morning of the Day as well. She wanted it shorter, her Mother wanted it longer. Make up and hair and where is the Maid of Honor? She's already an hour late.
All the other preparations like the food and the bar were set up, the band was set up and sound checked and the decorations were all crafted by hand and placed around the otherwise sterile appearance of a typical community center.
My buddy Oogie and I were hanging out at Mom's house as we were instructed. At Oogie's wedding which was held in wild, wonderful West Virginia, we had taken a tab of LSD before the nuptials and it only seemed appropriate to do the same for my wedding. Like I said before it was a beautiful winters day and the next thing we knew bells were ringing and ringing and ringing..."Oh Shit! It's the phone!"
"Where are you guys at?" says the female voice on the other end of the line with more than a hint of exasperation. "We're here where you called" came the smart ass reply. Clearly not in the mood for jokes, "We've been calling for an hour blah, blah, blah!" Damn it man. I've said it before but being me requires the ability to take a lot of ass chewings or whippings when it comes to cases.
We scramble our heads together and head for the venue believing we are holding up the whole Day. The parking lot was full and you could feel the anxious tension in the air as we walked through the ballooned arch thing leading into the banquet room.
There is a room full of people patiently waiting for something to happen. Most of my friends and family are still in disbelief that I'm getting married, something I had previously stated I would NEVER do,
The Maid of Honor still hasn't arrived yet so we decide to go ahead and open the bar because I was certainly ready for a cocktail.
As we were all socializing and mingling it became apparent that the Maid of Honor wasn't going to show so right in the middle of what had turned into a great party my oldest brother Sam and his wife Tracy started the ceremony off with a few of their original songs (Shepard's Heart, B.A.S.I.C Band on YouTube). My older brother Mark is a licensed preacher so he did the ceremony in a crowd participation fashion as most people there including my brother couldn't believe I was actually going through with it.
After the standard wedding vows our friends from Itec Inc. used wire tires instead of rice to mark the start of our lives together and then the party really started. My band and I played a slow song for the new wife and her father to dance. Then I announced our wedding song. "Here's a pretty little song about happy little trees, fluffy clouds, unicorns, puppies and kittens." then I launch into the unmistakeable opening chords to AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" and that was our wedding song. Rock and Roll as it is said.
The party was in full swing until the disgruntled county employee decided 10pm was all we deserved out of our reservation until midnight as he shirked his duties and went into asshole meltdown mode. So our guests headed to the hotel we had reserved for the after party and hit the bar.
In the mean time myself and my bride in her wedding gown and her family were hauling out trash and cleaning up to shut up the little negative man with the keys to the building. Isn't it funny how some people are when they have "authority"?
Meanwhile back at the hotel...We had reserved an isolated wing of the hotel so we wouldn't disturb the other guests with our late night partying. Needless to say they fucked it up and had our guests all spread out throughout the hotel. After we closed the hotel bar we went to our room and quickly got noise complaints and after moving to several different rooms the entire party was kicked out of the hotel.
A friend stepped up and got my new wife and I a room on Cocoa Beach for a few days of much needed time to decompress from all the madness that proceeds a wedding. A couple that the band got to know pretty well in Minnesota also had a room there.
Later that day we were drinking on the balcony and one of us had some bottle rockets left over from NYE. Everything was fun and games until one of the bottle rockets landed in the palmetto bushes on the dune and started a small fire that the fire department quickly put out before it damaged the boardwalk that crosses over the sand dune. I couldn't believe how angry the authorities sounded as they interviewed the hotel guests in the lobby as we decided then would be a good time to go out to dinner. I overheard them thinking aloud that it probably was “some damn kids!”
That was 22 years ago. It seems like a smear in time in that it sounds so long but it has gone by so fast. Happy Anniversary! Love you babe! Here's to another 22 years if we live that long. 'Til death do us part!
Peace and Love!
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