I get up every morning around the same time to a furry little dog snuggling in my beard thus beginning my old dude routine no matter what I REALLY feel about it. I'm not always at my most pleasant first thing in the morning which wouldn't be a big deal except now I have a sensitive soul that doesn't respond well to grumpy so I have a smoke of attitude adjustment to help maintain my calm.
It's time for the daily walk with Teeny Tiny and I force my way round the neighborhood streets (no sidewalks) trying my best not to be a grumpy old man. I use to cuss every goddamn asshole mother fucker that disrupted any part of my walk including but not limited to mental disruptions but Teeny Tiny can sense my underlying old man rage so it's puff, puff around the block...
I'm doing my best to count my blessings while I walk/tote Teeny Tiny, a dog that's understandably afraid of most things like a leaf blowing in the wind, a piece of a coconut shell in the middle of the road...I'm not use to walking a PREY animal; poor thing can be eaten by birds, snakes and she's like a popcorn shrimp to crocodiles, I have to pick her up every time she gets scared and carry her past the scary object or person then she does her little wiggle indicating she wants back down. She's training me well.
She is leary of most people because people are always grabbing at her even though I warn people not to touch her because she bites and/or just doesn't want to be FUCKED with but it falls on deaf ears because "she's so CUTE!".
Teeny Tiny dog goes from cute to cunt in less than a second with an evil, shrill scream of a bark that will send tingles through your skull. She is louder than my guitar amp. I need at least 108 db to achieve my desired guitar tone, she easily hits 115db according to the app on my watch, a jet engine is 120db. I'm not going to explain because who really gives a shit.
I have to admit that Teeny Tiny can be as sweet as she is cute but she's still a gross little dog. My previous dog wasn't the roll in stinky shit type of dog. Teeny Tiny was obviously a dung beetle in her previous life. She can find an iguana turd from a half mile, she likes to eat some and then roll around in the leftovers. Makes the whole snuggling in my beard part not so fucking cute.
She thinks the cats are her personal tootsie turd roll dispensers. Digging them up is like going on a treasure hunt everyday. She loves the seagull and pelican shit also. It's dung dropped from the air or sometimes dropped straight from the birds ass to the dock for a more concentrated, easier to roll in pile of nastiness.
Very often on walks we pass by other dog piles that are larger than she is and she sniffs them with care and wonder and then she takes a bite and/or tries to roll in it. My reaction time is much better now as far as yanking her back away from a savory pile but I'm easily distracted and the next thing I know she's dragging some nasty shit around or rolling in it.
She is the epitome of the shit sticking to her fur problem. She has to spin in circles when she shits to try and sling the turd out of her ass, it makes cork screw turds but if we don't keep her ass hair shaved the turds stick in her fur like glue and have to be cut out-but "she's so CUTE!"
Teeny Tiny doesn't even scare the squirrels. In fact one of the near sighted goofy squirrels was doing his best mating dance, flicking piss with his tail and showing off his nuts. Impressive sack for a little Florida grey squirrel but a wasted effort as Teeny Tiny was fixed a few months back. She didn't know what to think but she wanted to lick up the squirrel piss. Like I said she is a gross little dog-but "she's so CUTE!"
Peace and Love!
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